It’s been over a year since my relationship ended and I made the decision to move to CO. The day I realized that a year had passed was strange and incredible at the same time. I’ve been away from home for nearly that same amount of time and it amazes me to see how much I’ve accomplished when, at one point, I thought I would die from all the emotional pain I suffered. The last year has had its ups and downs and has been chock full of experiences that I couldn’t have had otherwise. I’ve gotten to know myself extremely well and acknowledge both my strengths and my flaws. I’ve grown into a strong woman and an individual. And now, I’m ready to love again…
It’s taken a year to be comfortable in my own skin again… to figure out who Rachael is. Let me tell you a bit about me… I’m loud, brash, I fart a lot, I love food, I like my music turned up and the windows rolled down. I like parkour, my friends, beer, tattoos, playing my bass and doing stupid things to make people laugh. I get scared sometimes. I’m confident and I know I’m a blast to be around. I can be shy although most of my friends would tell you otherwise. I like to dance. I blush when someone I like gives me a compliment and if that someone asks me out to dinner, I may do a jig when I’m alone in my house and no one can see me. Every now and then, I get a little insecure. Sometimes I think I’m invincible. If I fall down, I get back up and I mean that in both literal and figurative senses. If you’re being an asshole, I have no problem telling you so to your face.
While there’s always more to a person than what they can type in a paragraph, that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. After figuring all of these things out or, in some cases, rediscovering some of them, I’ve decided that I’m a pretty rockin’ lady. I’ve also finally, FINALLY let go of the one thing that has been holding me back over this past year. Attachment. My attachment to my ex was the one thing that kept me from opening up to a new relationship. Once I figured out that he wasn’t holding me back, but that my attachment was, things became easier and I was able to deal. The guy isn’t here pushing me into a corner telling me that I can’t move on. He’s moved on and I have every right to do the same. I cannot even tell you how good it felt to have that weight lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like I can finally give the attention that a relationship with someone really deserves. I didn’t want to start something with another person while I still had my ex kickin’ it in the back of my head… and now I don’t have to worry about that. I haven’t been ready for a new relationship in over a year even though I thought I was many times over. This time is different. This time, I feel COMPLETELY free.