Nostagia: Fading Friendships

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You find out who your true friends are when something big happens. You figure out who will make the effort to keep in touch and who will brush you under the rug like you were some kind of evil dust bunny. A couple of weeks ago, someone I didn’t expect to hear from wrote me and said that since he wouldn’t be seeing me in Los Angeles anymore, was there any way we could meet up in Vegas on his way out there. Since Vegas is a 13 hour drive from Denver, that wasn’t gonna happen, but I’m more than happy to make a trip out to Nashville to hang out sometime. What was cool about this experience was that I thought this person would for sure forget about me since we were never really that close. It was nice and unexpected. It also got me thinking about the people that I had built solid friendships with… or, at least I thought they were solid.

When you’re in a relationship with someone, your friends intertwine. You build relationships with certain people that sometimes lead to really great friendships. You see those friends regularly and everything is fine. Then you and your boyfriend or girlfriend break up and it seems that some of those friendships break up too. Not because there was any kind of drama within the friendships, but because you’re not around anymore. It seems that you’re filed away into the ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend file never to really be heard from again. Sometimes people remember you. Sometimes you fade away completely.

It’s not that I didn’t expect it to happen. There were friends who were more his friends than mine and those who I’m now closer with. It’s just a little sad and a little nostalgic I guess. People who were so excited to see me when I’d come around are now people who would probably forget me completely if it wasn’t for the simple fact that we’re friends on Facebook… and that’s alright. I’m sure that there are a few of them whose thoughts are probably somewhat in sync with what I’m writing here. Perhaps they feel that I forgot about them when I left. If there’s any question in anyone’s mind who may read this, I haven’t forgotten about you.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I fully understand that, however, it doesn’t mean that I forgot or don’t think about the people that I was once very close with and who I no longer am. Life takes everyone in different directions and brings new people into our lives who may only be there for a short time. It’s when you think that you matter to people and then come to realize that maybe you did for awhile, but that that time has now ended and perhaps you’re now a distant memory that’s slowly fading into no memory at all.

I’m not happy nor am I sad about the seeming demotion from friend to acquaintance that happened when I left. As I said, I expected it from some people. Others were kind of a surprise. It’s a lesson that perhaps I’m learning because it’s time to make room for new friends. Some people faded for a purpose. Everything comes to an end… nothing ever stays the same and friends are no exception. Even now, I’m sure that I have met people here who I may not know in a year and those who I may know until the day I’m dead. I guess it’s just the realization of it all that kind of hit me in an awkward way.

No matter what, I’m thankful for the time that I was able to spend with the people that I knew back in Los Angeles. The ones who I know will be around for a long time have made it very clear to me that they’re in it for good. The others… well, they’ve made their intentions clear too and I wish them nothing but the best. Who knows? Maybe we’ll cross paths at a different point in our lives. Either way, life happens and I’m here to experience it with everybody who wants to experience it with me.

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