It’s the early morning hours of September 30th and the sun isn’t even out yet. I’ve been awake for a little under an hour and I’m sitting here pondering the last three months and the next five days. My mind is no longer concentrating heavily on the details of my break up or the subsequent actions and reactions. Instead, I’m thinking of my friends, my mom and the nervousness that I’m currently feeling. Something big is about to happen.
In less than 24 hours, I will be begin writing a new chapter in my life. For the first time, it is up to me to ensure that I make it to Denver safe. I’ve got everything I need. My Zune is new, fully charged and filled with awesome music. My car is cleared out and ready to be loaded up with the necessities like clothes, my instruments, photos and hygienic supplies. I’ve got some snack and drink shopping to do tonight for the little cooler that will be my sustenance when I’m not near a town equipped with a Starbucks, Subway or Mickey D’s. The wonderful people at my job threw me a little going away party yesterday and surprised me with over $200 in gas, coffee and food cards. I couldn’t be more thankful for the amazing, supportive, and encouraging souls in my life.
The emotions I’m feeling as the sun starts to rise are those of nostalgia. Yes, I’m beginning to feel that “what if” fear, but I’m not letting it take precedence over the excitement I have. So many faces, so many memories, so many experiences that have grown me into someone who is strong enough to want (and go after) more. If you had asked me four years ago if I could have moved to Denver, I would have said yes… but at that time, I wouldn’t have had the courage to actually follow through. The events of the last three months, both relationship related and otherwise have forced me to wake up and not take “no” for an answer. Truth be told, I’m not all that great at taking “no” for an answer anyway.
There is this soul inside of me that is growing, expanding, hatching if you will. I’m preparing to spread my wings and take flight for the first time. Leaving the comforts of all that I have known in search of greener pastures. I have had a good life in California for which I will be forever grateful. There is, however, life beyond the borders of Los Angeles. There are people, places, and experiences that are waiting for me. Some of these people and places will be familiar, however, none of the experiences will be.
In order for me to become who I was destined to be, I have to fly. I have to see the world from different eyes and take in these lessons. I’m not sure what the future holds. All I know is that whatever happens, this world and the people in it better get ready for what’s about to happen. Things are about to get crazy!