It seems that several people have been walking out of my boyfriend’s life as of late. Their reasoning: me. Last night I asked my boyfriend, “Am I really that much of a threat?” to which he responded, “Yes. To them, you are, because they all want something from me that they can’t have.”
At first, I was really down in the dumps about this. I felt that my being in his life was a burden. His friends wouldn’t have walked out on him had it not been for me… merely existing. But after having a day to think about it I have come to this conclusion.
Fuck all of you.
I find it incredibly sad that people are only friends with people who they feel they can get something from. What happened to being friends with someone because you genuinely liked them and thought they were a good person? When did friendship become a business? It is pathetic that people feel threatened by someone that they have yet to give the time of day. But the reality is, if you’re honestly that scared of me and you have yet to meet me, chances are that you probably couldn’t handle me if you actually gave me a chance. You’re scared, and for that, I feel incredibly sorry for you.
I am a good person. Michael is a good person. We both have an incredible amount of love to give to those we care about. But it seems that the people who are leaving him are those are are angry that he won’t leave me for them, and jealous that they couldn’t hold a candle to me if they tried. Here’s the deal.
You could be someone amazing. You could be someone worthwhile. You could find love in a genuinely good place if you weren’t so busy trying to destroy others. You could find happiness and solace if you would put your big girl panties on and take a look in the mirror. You wouldn’t have to be envious of the love that Michael and I have because you would be able to find your own. But the majority of you won’t do that. You’d rather destroy someone else than build yourself up. Because that’s the easy way. You don’t have to do any work on yourself if you just break somebody else down to your level.
Ladies and gentleman, here’s the deal. Grow the fuck up. Your games are childish and a waste of your time. You have given up a great friend in Michael for petty reasons and you have obliterated any chance of having a fabulous new friend in me. Some of you have even had classes with me and never even thought to say hello. Others of you live in other states, yet feel that your opinion somehow has some bearing on how we live our lives and the decisions we make. You have no idea how small you have made yourselves in my eyes. I cannot speak for Michael, but I will speak for myself.
I do not deal well with weak women. I do not deal well with weak men. Your pathetic attempts to break us up, to sneak your way into our relationship, to whisper ill-advice in our ears, or to generally present yourself as some sort of threat to me, none of it matters. At this point, it’s just annoying. All you have done is show how weak you are and how irresponsible you are for your own lives and your own decisions. I feel sorry for all of you because you see something you want… you see two people who are so in love with each other and who would go to the ends of every realm for each other… and you can’t have it. The sad part is, you could have it all if you were actually willing to do the work to become the person who could handle it.
I hope that one day you finally find the courage to look yourself in the face and handle your demons. Because that is the only way you will be able to become who you were truly meant to be and to experience the kind of love that you have seen in Michael and I. But until then, you’re fucked. So, instead of trying to threaten me, trying to persuade Michael to leave for something “better”, blaming me for not being able to hang out with him when you’ve never taken the time to talk to me, instead of blaming your shitty decisions on someone you don’t even know, why don’t you go figure yourself out.
Go meditate. Go run. Go take a long hard look in your bathroom mirror. Whatever it is you have to do to be ok with yourself, go do that. I don’t give a damn. But stop being children. We left middle school in middle school.